A quiz (researched and taken from this book) to self-assess the healthiness of a personal/professional relationship:
Answer the following questions with a True or False.
- I sometimes feel confused about what my partner/colleague really wants.
- I feel that my partner/colleague frequently takes advantage of my giving nature.
- Even when I do something that pleases my partner/colleague, the positive feelings between us never last long.
- With my partner/colleague, I feel that it's hard just to be myself or do what I really want.
- Around my partner/colleague, I feel taken for granted.
- I seem to work harder on this relationship than my partner/colleague does.
- My partner/colleague has a very strong impact on what I think and feel
- I sometimes feel that I am trapped in this relationship and there is no way out.
- I don't feel as good about myself in this relationship as I once did.
- I feel that I need my partner/colleague more than my partner/colleague needs me.
- No matter how much I have done, I feel that it's not good enough for my partner/colleague.
- I feel that my partner/colleague does not understand who I really am.
There are twelve questions in this quiz.
If you answered more than six of them with True, then you might want to consider the possibility that you are in a controlling relationship. You will find more detailed examples of manipulative behaviour later in this guide.