SimpsonsChalkboard

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I will not waste chalk.
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I will not skateboard in the halls.
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I will not burp in class.
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I will not instigate revolution.
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I will not draw naked ladies in class.
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I did not see Elvis.
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I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes".
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Garlic gum is not funny.
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They are laughing at me, not with me.
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I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom.
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I will not encourage others to fly.
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Tar is not a plaything.
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I will not Xerox my butt.
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It's potato, not potatoe.
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I will not trade pants with others.
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I am not a 32 year old woman
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I will not do that thing with my tongue.
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I will not drive the principal's car.
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I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.
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I will not sell school property.
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I will not cut corners.
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I will not get very far with this attitude.
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I will not make flatulent noises in class.
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I will not belch the national anthem.
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I will not sell land in Florida.
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I will not sell school property.Same as Bart Gets Hit by a Car
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I will not grease the monkey bars.
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I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment.
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I will not do anything bad ever again.
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I will not show off.
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I will not sleep through my education.
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I am not a dentist.
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Spitwads are not free speech.
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Nobody likes sun burn slappers.
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High explosives and school don't mix.
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I will not squeak chalk.
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I will finish what I sta
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"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender.
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I will not fake rabies.
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Underwear should be worn on the inside.
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The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
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I will not torment the emotionally frail.
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I will not carve gods.
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I will not spank others.
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I will not aim for the head.
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I will not barf unless I'm sick.
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I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
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I will not conduct my own fire drills.
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Funny noises are not funny.
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I will not spin the turtle.
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I will not snap bras.
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I will not fake seizures.
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This punishment is not boring and pointless.
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My name is not "Dr. Death".
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I will not defame New Orleans.
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I will not prescribe medication.
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I will not bury the new kid.
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I will not teach others to fly.
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I will not bring sheep to class.
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A burp is not an answer.
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Teacher is not a leper.
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Coffee is not for kids.
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I will not eat things for money.
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I will not yell "She's dead" during roll call.
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The principal's toupée is not a frisbee.
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I will not call the principal "spud head".
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Goldfish don't bounce.
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Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
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No one is interested in my underpants.
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I will not sell miracle cures.
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I will return the seeing-eye dog.
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I do not have diplomatic immunity.
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I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
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I will never win an Emmy.
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The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
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All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
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I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
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I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
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My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
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I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
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I am not delightfully saucy.
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Organ transplants are best left to the professionals.
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The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".
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I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
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There are plenty of businesses like show business.
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I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball.
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Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
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Beans are neither fruit nor musical.
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No one is interested in my underpants.
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I will not use abbrev.
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I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
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I will not send lard through the mail.
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I will not dissect things unless instructed.
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I will not whittle hall passes out of soap.
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My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
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Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough.
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Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal.
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"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice.
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Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does.
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Next time it could be me on the scaffolding.
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I will not hang donuts on my person.
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I will remember to take my medication.
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I will not strut around like I own the place.
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The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far.
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I do not have power of attorney over first graders.
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Nerve gas is not a toy.
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I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface.
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The First Amendment does not cover burping.
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This is not a clue... or is it?
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I will not complain about the solution when I hear it.
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"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism.
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No one wants to hear from my armpits.
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I am not a lean mean spitting machine.
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The boys' room is not a water park.
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Indian burns are not our cultural heritage.
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Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things.
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I will only do this once a year.
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I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist.
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I am not certified to remove asbestos.
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I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten.
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I am not my long-lost twin.
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The truth is not out there.
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I am not licensed to do anything.
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I will not hide the teacher's Prozac.
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A fire drill does not demand a fire.
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I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten.
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I no longer want my MTV.
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Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story.
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I did not invent Irish dancing.
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I will not tease Fatty.
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There was no Roman god named "Fartacus".
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Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related.
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Shooting paintballs is not an art form.
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Pain is not the cleanser.
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Silly string is not a nasal spray.
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I was told not to do this.
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My butt does not deserve a website.
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I will not demand what I'm worth.
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I will not mess with the opening credits.
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I am not the new Dalai Lama.
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I was not the inspiration for "Kramer."
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I will not file frivolous lawsuits.
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"butt.com" is not my e-mail address.
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No one cares what my definition of "is" is.
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I will not scream for ice cream.
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I am not a licensed hairstylist.
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"The President did it" is not an excuse.
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My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld.
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Sherri does not "got back".
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I will not do "the dirty bird."
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No one wants to hear about my sciatica.
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Hillbillies are people too.
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Grammar is not a time of waste.
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I do not have diplomatic immunity.
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It does not suck to be you.
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I cannot absolve sins.
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A trained ape could not teach gym.
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Loose teeth don't need my help.
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I have neither been there nor done that.
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No one wants to hear from my armpits.
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I'm so very tired.
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Fridays are not "pants optional".
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Pork is not a verb.
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I am not the last Don.
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I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize.
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I won't not use no double negatives.
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Indian burns are not our cultural heritage.
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I can't see dead people.
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I will not sell my kidney on eBay.
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I will not create art from dung.
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I will stop phoning it in.
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Class clown is not a paid position.
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Substitute teachers are not scabs.
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My suspension was not "mutual".
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A belch is not an oral report.
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Dodgeball stops at the gym door.
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Non-flammable is not a challenge.
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I was not touched "there" by an angel.
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I am not here on a fartball scholarship.
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I will not dance on anyone's grave.
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I cannot hire a substitute student.
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I will not obey the voices in my head.
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I will not plant subliminAL messaGOREs.
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I will not surprise the incontinent.
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I am not the acting president.
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I was not the sixth Beatle.
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I will only provide a urine sample when asked.
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The nurse is not dealing.
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Science class should not end in tragedy.
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Network TV is not dead.
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I will not "let the dogs out".
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I will not hide the teacher's medication.
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I will not publish the principal's credit report.
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The hamster did not have a "full life".
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I will not buy a presidential pardon.
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"Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap.
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I will not scare the vice president.
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I will not flush evidence.
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Fire is not the cleanser.
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Genetics is not an excuse.
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Today is not Mothra's Day.
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I should not be twenty-one by now.
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Nobody reads these anymore.
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A burp in a jar is not a science project.
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Fun does not have a size.
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I am not Charlie Brown on acid.
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I do not have a cereal named after me.
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I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers. (reference to his Butterfinger commercials and how, after a blatant jab two episodes earlier, the ads had been canceled)
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The Giving Tree is not a chump.
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Making Milhouse cry is not a science project.
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Vampire is not a career choice.
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I will never lie about being cancelled again.
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Fish do not like coffee.
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Milhouse did not test cootie positive.
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This school does not need a "regime change".(reference to the then-upcoming War In Iraq)
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SpongeBob is not a contraceptive.
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I will not
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My pen is not a booger launcher.
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Sandwiches should not contain sand.
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Over forty & single is not funny.
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I will not speculate on how hot my teacher used to be.
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Poking a dead raccoon is not research.
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Beer in a milk carton is not milk.
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A booger is not a bookmark.
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Does any kid still do this anymore?
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I am not smarter than the president.
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Teacher was not dumped—it was mutual.
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I will not laminate dog doo.
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I will not flip the classroom upside down.
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I will not leak the plot of the movie.
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Je ne parle pas français.
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Have a great summer, everyone.
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We are not all naked under our clothes.
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Frankincense is not a monster.
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Global warming did not eat my homework.
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I will not look up what teacher makes.
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Pearls are not oyster barf.
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I will not illegally download this movie.
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I will not wait 20 years to make another movie.
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The Wall Street Journal is better than ever.
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I am not an FDIC-insured bank.
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There is no such thing as an iPoddy.
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The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens.
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The capital of Montana is not "Hannah".
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Teacher did not pay too much for her condo.
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The art teacher is fat, not pregnant.
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A person's a person, no matter how Ralph.
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This punishment is not medieval.
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Teacher's diet is working.
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There is no such month as Rocktober.
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I did not see my teacher siphoning gas.
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Prosperity is just around the corner.
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Jesus is not mad his birthday is on Christmas.
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I will not use permanent ink on the chalkboard.
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HDTV is worth every cent.
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"March Madness" is not an excuse for missing school.
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I will not have fun with educational toys.
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Four leaf clovers are not mutant freaks.
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My piggy bank is not entitled to TARP funds.
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I will not mock teacher's outdated cell phone.
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I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy.
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It's 'Facebook', not 'Assbook'.
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The class hamster isn't just sleeping.
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Chalkboarding is not torture.
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I am not allergic to long division.
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I do not have the hots for my mom.
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Halloween does not kick Thanksgiving's ass.
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Teachers' unions are not ruining this country.
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The world may end in 2012, but this show won't.
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World War II could not beat up World War I.
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Hot dogs are not bookmarks.
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This counts as gym and art class.
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South Park, we'd stand beside you if we weren't so scared.
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Je ne suis pas français
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Eating my vegetables is not a Mother's Day present.
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Batman is not 'nothing' without his utility belt.
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End of "Lost": It was all the dog's dream. Watch us.
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When I slept in class, it was not to help Leo DiCaprio.
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I did not see teacher applying for welfare.
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I must not write all over the walls.
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A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving is as good as A Charlie Brown Christmas.
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Candy canes are not elf bones.
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January is not Bart History Month.
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Prince is not the son of Martin Luther King.
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I will not make fun of Cupid's dink.
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I'm not here on a Spitball scholar.
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"Daylight Savings” is not a failed bank.
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I will not ridicule teacher's Final Four bracket.
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I do not deserve a Mother's Day gift for being "one badass mother".
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Guinea pigs should not be used as "Guinea Pigs".
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It's not too early to speculate about the 2016 election.
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It's November 6th -- How come we're not airing a Halloween show?
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"Caucus" is not a dirty word.
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Cafeteria trays are not toboggans.
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Tintin did not suck suck.
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We do need no education.
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There's no proven link between raisins and boogers.
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I will not replace a candy heart with a frog's heart.
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Bart's earned a day off.
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The true location of Springfield is in any state but yours.
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Call your mother during the commercials.
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I will not wear white after Labor Day.
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I will not concede the election till Karl Rove gives me permission.
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I want to secede but don't know which state I'm in.
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20 more shoplifting days till Christmas.
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The teacher did not get fat during the holidays.
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I will obey Oscar campaign rules from now on.
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I wasn't nominated for "Best Spoken Swear Word".
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I will not tweet as the principal's toilet.
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I'm sorry I broke the blackboard.
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Jesus' last words were not 'TGIF'.
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This school is not falling apart.
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25 years and they can't come up with a new punishment.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
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We'll really miss you, Mrs. K.
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My school schedule does not include a bye week.
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Rocktober is not followed by Blowvember.
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I will stop asking when Santa goes to the bathroom.
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I will not call my teacher 'Prancer' and 'Vixen'.
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Judas Priest is not 'death metal'.
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If you haven't broken your Christmas presents yet, you're not trying.
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My dad's already drunk for St. Patrick's.
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April showers do not bring Matt Lauers.
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You can't play April Fools jokes on April 27th.
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Spoiler Alert: Unfortunately, my dad doesn't die.
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Reindeer meat does not taste like chicken.
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Snowmen don't have carrot penises.
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Pixel art is not real art.
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I will not pay my sister to do my punishment.
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I will not fight the future.
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Hershey Kisses do not drop from Cupid's butt.
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If Villanova doesn't win we lose everything.
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Never lose a bet to Bart Simpson.
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Dad swears he'll get his taxes in soon.
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Dirty clothes are not a Mother's day gift.
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Milhouse does not live below the puberty line.
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This arm needs Tommy John surgery.
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I will stop losing 50% of my NFL lead-in.
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The first episode of the second 600.
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Being right sucks.
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I will watch all 600 episodes without sleeping.
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If we're so good at predicting, how come my dad bet on Atlanta?
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We're the only house where the Christmas tree is still up.
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Studying is not 'appropriating nerd culture'.
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I did nothing wrong this week.
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Thank you for 28 great years...Taylor Swift.
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It's unfair to judge a president on his first 300 days.
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Hooligan is not a profession.
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I will not ask my guidance counselor why he couldn't get a better job.
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We do not live in our own pee.
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Snow angels are not frozen hobos.
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Strangling is not an effective parenting tool.
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This is the last episode.
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April showers do not date the President.
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I will not bet with Bart on the Final Four.
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I will not order pregnant rats
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My pre-Christmas behavior really helps the coal industry
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The fat man who works one night a year is my dad
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My new year's resolution was to quit school
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Chili fries do not go in like a lamb and out like a lion
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I am not a grandmother
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I will not write "audit please" on Homer's tax return.
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I will not shirk my responsibilities.
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Daylight savings isn't something I can spend
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Idle hands are the Devil's tools
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Teacher spent new year's eve at home by choice
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Bart is at a Doctor's appointment
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School online
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I must not write on mountain
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How did the boy get me to do this?
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