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<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="eng">
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1, shrink-to-fit=no">
<title>Team 2 | Book Review</title>
<meta name="description" content=" Part Two: The Nature of Emotional Intelligence">
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<h1 data-aos="fade" data-aos-easing="linear" data-aos-duration="1000" data-aos-once="false" class="display-3 text-white font-weight-bold my-5">
Team 2 Book Review
</h1>
<h2 data-aos="fade" data-aos-duration="3000" class="display-3 text-white font-weight-bold my-5">
Part Two:
</h2>
<h4 data-aos="fade" data-aos-duration="5000" class="display-3 text-white font-weight-bold my-5">
The Nature of Emotional Intelligence
</h4>
</div>
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<div data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-delay="200" data-aos-duration="500" data-aos-once="false" class="container my-5">
<h2 class="line3 text-center font-weight-bold my-5">3. When Smart Is Dumb</h2>
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<h4>Academic intelligence doesn’t prepare us for life’s challenges. Technical skills are important, but without emotional intelligence, they don’t make a difference. Research showed that 1940-s students with high IQs didn’t achieve much more success in their adult lives as compared to their peers with lower IQs, and weren’t much satisfied with life overall.</h4>
<h4>According to Mayer, there are different styles of dealing with emotions:</h4>
<h4><strong>Self-aware:</strong> these are the people who know their emotions. They’re typically in good psychological health and positive, and if they’re in a bad mood, they don’t ruminate about it.</h4>
<h4 ><strong>Engulfed:</strong> these people are helpless with their emotions; they’re not sure what they feel and have little control over their emotional life.</h4>
<h4><strong>Accepting:</strong> these people are aware of their feelings but don’t do anything to change them.</h4>
<h4>There are also people who have trouble engaging with or identifying their feelings at all – this is called alexithymia. Of course, people with alexithymia do experience feelings, they just have challenges expressing or explaining them.</h4>
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<h2 class="line3 text-center font-weight-bold my-5">4. Know Thyself</h2>
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<h4>Self-awareness is being aware of your mood and thoughts about it. Even though recognizing emotions doesn’t equal to changing them, mere recognition is still the first step to handling emotions. To put it differently, recognizing that you’re angry can help you get out of anger.</h4>
<h4>According to Mayer, there are different styles of dealing with emotions:</h4>
<h4><strong>Self-aware:</strong> these are the people who know their emotions. They’re typically in good psychological health and positive, and if they’re in a bad mood, they don’t ruminate about it.</h4>
<h4><strong>Engulfed:</strong> these people are helpless with their emotions; they’re not sure what they feel and have little control over their emotional life.</h4>
<h4><strong>Accepting:</strong> these people are aware of their feelings but don’t do anything to change them.</h4>
<h4>There are also people who have trouble engaging with or identifying their feelings at all – this is called alexithymia. Of course, people with alexithymia do experience feelings, they just have challenges expressing or explaining them.</h4>
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<h2 class="line3 text-center font-weight-bold my-5">5. Passion’s Slaves</h2>
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<h4>Extremely intense feelings are rare for us: most people just fall into the gray middle range, and occasionally get on an emotional roller-coaster. We should also remember that negative emotions are just as good as positive: as Goleman ironically notices, “being happy all the time somehow suggests the blandness of those smiley-face badges that had a faddish moment in the 1970-s.”</h4>
<h4>The design of our brain means that we have little or no control over what emotion we feel and when. Yet, we can decide how long this emotion will last:</h4>
<ul>
<li>
<strong>Anger.</strong> To calm it down, you can either try to seize the thought that provoked it, or physically get away from the person – go to another room, for a walk, or to work out.
</li>
<li>
<strong>Anxiety.</strong> The first step is to admit you’ve got worrisome periods. The next one is to ask yourself: what is the probability that the dreaded event will happen?
</li>
<li>
<strong>Melancholy.</strong> There are two things to do: challenge the ruminating thoughts and schedule pleasantly distracting events.
</li>
</ul>
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<h2 class="line3 text-center font-weight-bold my-5">6. The Master Aptitude</h2>
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<h4>In one of the experiments, four years old children were given a choice: get one marshmallow now, or two marshmallows after a short period of time. Years later, these same children were tracked, and it appeared that those who had willpower were more socially competent and “able to cope with the frustrations of life.”</h4>
<h4>Why so? Because the children had the skill of reading social situations. They knew that waiting extra time would bring them benefits – in their case, one more marshmallow. Later in life, they knew that delaying impulses was the root of efforts, like staying on a diet or getting a degree, that would lead to a specific result.</h4>
<h4>Positive thinking and optimism, just like putting satisfaction off, are very important to emotional intelligence: they mean you’ll not get depressed or too anxious in the face of challenges.</h4>
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<h2 class="line3 text-center font-weight-bold my-5">7. The Roots of Empathy</h2>
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<h4>The ability to know others’ feelings is an essential capacity that is widely used in different areas – in romance and parenting as well as politics. And an important thing to remember here is that 90 percent of an emotional message is expressed nonverbally: through the tone of voice, gestures, and so on.</h4>
<h4>People are born with the ability to empathize. A couple of months after birth, babies react to the emotions of others as if they were their own: they start crying when they see other babies crying.</h4>
<h4>This is why it’s important for parents to stay in tune with their babies’ feelings. For example, if a baby is crying, a parent could gently rock the baby back and forth, as a way of showing the baby they knows what it feels.</h4>
<h4>On the contrary, the absence of attunement has a negative impact on children. If parents ignore their tears and need to cuddle, children will stop expressing feelings, and in some cases even stop having them. This, in turn, lowers their ability to empathize, so important in adult social life.</h4>
<h4>And while emotional neglect ruins empathy, the effects of an abusive attitude are much worse:</h4>
<img class="quote" src="img/quote.png" alt="quotes-img">
<h4><i>There is a paradoxical result from intense, sustained emotional abuse, including cruel, sadistic threats, humiliation, and plain meanness. Children who endure such abuse can become hyperalert to the emotions of those around them.</i></h4>
<h4>The explanation is simple. Children become oversensitive not to miss a sign that could mean a threat.</h4>
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<h2 class="line3 text-center font-weight-bold my-5">8. The Social Arts</h2>
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<h4>In dealing with others, we use different social competencies that help us communicate. The inability to use them can make an intellectually bright person seem arrogant and even obnoxious.</h4>
<h4>There are several ways in which we express our emotions:</h4>
<ol>
<li><strong>Minimizing the show of emotion.</strong> For example, in Japanese culture, people are supposed to hide their feelings of distress in the presence of authorities.</li>
<li><strong>Exaggerating.</strong> When a six-year-old dramatically frowns.</li>
<li><strong>Substituting.</strong> In Asian cultures, it’s impolite to say no, so they say yes (and it’s a false yes).</li>
</ol>
<h4>We learn how to apply these display rules very early. Our emotional intelligence depends on how well we learn these strategies.</h4>
<h4>There is also such a thing as emotional contagion. We “absorb” others’ feelings and then feel the same way. For this reason, teaching a child to react in a particular manner is futile if parents do the opposite. We transmit moods and, naturally, when two people interact, the person who is more active will be the one who transmits his mood, while the passive one will be the recipient.</h4>
<h4>This ability – to move people’s feelings – is very important to be an influential leader, says Goleman:</h4>
<img class="quote" src="img/quote.png" alt="quotes-img">
<h4><i>Setting the emotional tone of an interaction is, in a sense, a sign of dominance at a deep intimate level: it means driving the emotional state of the other person.</i></h4>
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