contents.json

{
  "values": [
    "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.\n\n\t~ Albert Einstein",
    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.\n\n\t~ Bernard M. Baruch",
    "You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,Love like you’ll never be hurt,Sing like there’s nobody listening,And live like it’s heaven on earth.\n\n\t~ William W. Purkey",
    "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.\n\n\t~ Mae West",
    "Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.\n\n\t~ Narcotics Anonymous ",
    "It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.\n\n\t~ Andre Gide, Autumn Leaves",
    "Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.\n\n\t~ C.S. Lewis",
    "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they’re ok, then it’s you.\n\n\t~ Rita Mae Brown",
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.\n\n\t~ Roald Dahl",
    "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.\n\n\t~ Friedrich Nietzsche",
    "Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.\n\n\t~ Kurt Vonnegut",
    "And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.\n\n\t~ Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore",
    "It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.\n\n\t~ Philip K. Dick, VALIS",
    "I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.\n\n\t~ Mitch Hedberg",
    "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.\n\n\t~ Mark Twain",
    "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.\n\n\t~ Will Ferrell",
    "Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.\n\n\t~ Joan Rivers",
    "I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.\n\n\t~ Jimmy Kimmel",
    "I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.\n\n\t~ Jerry Seinfeld",
    "There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary code and those who don’t\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.\n\n\t~ Sir Norman Wisdom",
    "Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?\n\n\t~ Jay Leno",
    "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.\n\n\t~ Steve Martin",
    "My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.\n\n\t~ Dave Barry",
    "Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.\n\n\t~ Ellen DeGeneres",
    "Francois: “Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?”\nClouseau: “The exploding kind.”\n\n\t~ Francois and Inspector Clouseau, The Pink Panther Strikes Again",
    "I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "The biggest joke on mankind is that computers are asking humans to prove that they are not a robot.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.\n\n\t~ Noel Coward",
    "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "Do you think God gets stoned? I think so… look at the platypus.\n\n\t~ Robin Williams",
    "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.\n\n\t~ Steven Wright",
    "Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person, but then I laugh and continue my day.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "Fun fact: Alcohol increases the size of the ’send’ button by 89%.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "Be the reason someone smiles today... Or the reason someone drinks. Whatever works.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "If they act like they can live without you... Help them do it.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "The older I get the less surprised I think I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "There’s no reason to tailgate me when I’m doing 50 in a 35. And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "Have some fun with your life. Call in sick to places you don’t even work at.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you’re both heading in the same direction.\n\n\t~ Anonymous",
    "Patience: What you have when there are too many witnesses.\n\n\t~ Anonymous"
  ]
}