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The Cleaning of the Cabins

Ivy scrounged her toes down into her pot, into the cool and soothing dirt. She looked over with a grin at the other two women settling into their new cabin, at the end of the workday.

Talia immediately dumped her uniform to the floor, and stomped off into the nearby shower. Desdemona smiling as the other went, before lying back on the floor, still muddy and greasy.

"Good evening, Mistress Green." Sudais stated, as a handful of small robots rolled out across the floor to begin cleaning up after them.

Ivy gave a strong yawn, "No chance at a little sun for supper, is there? Can't turn the ship. Can you get something for the other two, Sudais?"

"A request to turn the ship has been issued, Mistress Green." Sudais said lightly, as if that was nothing, "The chef has been instructed to provide two delightful meals, from Mistress Desdemona's homeland, and Mistress Talia's indicated tastes."

Desdemona let out a small cackle, "Darned be. This thing is fire."

Ivy leaned one elbow onto her knee, and dropped her head into her hand. Yawning and opening her flowers up. Smiling in an exhausted disbelief as the sun edged into view of the giant window, lighting her up as she chewed into its rays. "Luckiest... Girl... In the world..."

"Ya cute when you tired." Desdemona gave another laugh.

"I can hear you flirting out there!" Talia shouted from the shower.

Ivy didn't really take any notice of it. She was starting to feel like she'd found something like a family, here. People who didn't care that she was different, and were just happy to be around.

Even as her flowers went wide, her eyes fluttered shut.


"Good morning, Mistress Green."

Ivy groaned weakly, fluttering open one eye and looking around in a little confusion. The cabin was huge, unfamiliar, and it took her a moment to place where she was.

A grin split her face before she yawned tiredly.

Watching as Talia flumped through her nostrils, before falling sideways and onto the floor.

The largest of the three women wasn't even stirring. Just curled into a ball like a dragon from Ivy's childhood tales.

She stretched and turned around, looking at her huge window, as Sudais seemed to anticipate her and rolled some of the shielding up, to let the rays of sunshine through.

Ivy let out a contented sound as she drank in the light, shuffling her toes down into the dirt. She hadn't been able to eat like this, since... Too long. Even back home, she didn't have the time to just sit in the moment. She had to scoff her face, whilst scribbling out into a thesis or something.

The doorbell pinged lightly, in the background. "Breakfast for Miss Talia, and Miss Desdemona, has arrived."

"I got it." Talia groaned, and the sound of the door sliding open came through. Followed by thanks, and soon after there was a crunch to her right.

Ivy glanced over to see the woman with crossed trotters, smiling as she looked out at the sun, moon, and Earth below them. Talia's nose scrunched up as she grinned, and chowed down, mouth rolling left-to-right.

The peace was split by a whip crack, and both looked over in surprise, before rolling their eyes as Desdemona uncurled. Her tail had cracked the air. A tail, that Ivy noted she could still see. Why the heck did it sometimes disappear? And... How...?

The other woman yawned, and then fell onto a bowl of roasted meats. She didn't even glance towards them.

Ivy turned back to the window, and smiled, "I don't think... I ever thought I'd get to see something as... Peaceful... As this. I love it."

"Mistress Green, you have been assigned to this evening's visit to the planet below. Shall I inform you of some of the treats you may be able to experience?"

She shook her head slowly, "No... I think I want to see it all, for the first time. Second time? I just want to enjoy it, as it comes."

"As you wish, Mistress." Sudais replied, before continuing, "You have also been assigned to work on cleaning cabins in the forward section of the deck, this morning. Miss Talia has also been assigned there."

Talia groaned, "Cabins? We're going to see all their... Personal yuck."

"Confidentiality agreements prevent you from discussing any items or scenes that you may witness, in the duty of your work, Miss Talia."

Ivy frowned, "Talia? Do you have a family name? I'm Mistress Green. But you two, aren't."

"It is a designation of respect. I am assigned to work for Mistress Green. These others, whilst assigned a level of privacy, and respect, are not whom I have been assigned to work for." Sudais stated, without emotion... But Ivy almost felt like there might be some resentment there. Not that AI were allowed to feel resentment.

Talia shrugged, and spoke around her cud, "Bovina-grego. Most people hate it. Hyphenated names are very hard to scream at you, when you screw something up."

"Kralicata." Desdemona growled from behind them, before slurping at her breakfast. "It not name that I say much. No one call me by, or they get thumped."

"I don't wanna get thumped." Ivy gave a small and nervous laugh, assuming it was something cultural that she didn't quite understand.

"I do not wish to hurry you, Mistress, but your assigned work begins in eighteen minutes, and based on average travel time, it will take you fifteen minutes to walk the distance to your assigned location."

Ivy groaned and stepped out of her pot, "Two minute shower. That leave enough time for you, Talia?"

"Mmm." Her friend waved, not much caring, and back to staring at the scene from space.


Talia was late, of course. Ivy was only very nearly late to arrive. Their uniformed boss assigned each of the maids to a certain section of cabins, in pairs, and then reinformed them about the knocking procedure.

If a guest was present, move on... And on your way back, check again. Considering the hundred or so cabins assigned to each of them, there was a fair bit of back-and-forth that would make sure that the most cabins would end up cleared.

It did not take long for Ivy to decide that most cruise guests were gross. If it had just been clothes on the floor, she wouldn't have cared at all. If there was a bit of dirty dishes, she wouldn't have remarked. If there were a handful of pets who hadn't learnt how to go in a tray, she would barely have lifted her nose.

Talia held out a black bag at full arms length as Ivy scraped in what she was sure had come from the owners, and not from the tiny mutt in the corner. They didn't say anything of course, but you can't keep every expression from your face.

After the peace of the morning, it was right back into the work. Clothes quickly washed, ironed and folded onto the bed. Dirt and worse scraped away into bags, the floors were washed of all grime, before being polished into an immaculate state.

"So, you really have no plans for Earth?" Talia made idle conversation.

Ivy shrugged, feeling her muscles rolling uncomfortably. "Not really? It was a beautiful place, really. Grass and flowers. Trees, just reaching up to the skies."

"I've heard their cities have a thing... Smog? It sounds awful."

She nodded slowly, "Technologically dependent species, the humans, from what I remember. They only invented the internal combustion chamber a bit over a thousand years ago? Something like that."

"Wow. Primitives." Talia said in surprise, "Any idea how far off from solar, they are?"

"Oh, they have solar. Just weak solar." Ivy scrunched her nose, "Like... Ten percent conversion rate? Instead of our three hundred."

"Weird. Why even bother?"

Ivy smiled over at her friend, "But... You're just indulging me. 'Cause I know about people. What are you most looking forward to, about the planet?"

"The food!" Talia said excitedly, "I've heard that they mash together grains and nuts and things, into these... Edible bars? They feed them to their young!"

"And chocolate!" Ivy burst into a huge grin, "The cocoa plant lets them make this crazy thing, called chocolate. Our Earth studies professor used to bring some back from his trips. It is... Amazing."

"Chocolate is... Dairy, isn't it?" Talia asked, "That gives me gas, now I'm an adult. But I totally want to try it."

"Worth it." Ivy agreed, "It's creamy, and melts on the tongue, it's... Oh, I don't know how to describe it. I'm not a chef. Hints of different things."

Talia leaned momentarily on the doorway, wiping sweat from her brow, "Definitely on my list... How do you think Desdemona will go?"

"I was barely on the planet. I've got no idea how anyone is going to react to her. But Duffle & Hurley don't care, so I don't."

The other maid gave a small laugh and shook her head, "No, not that. We're the visitors, we're not working planetside. No need to care. Leave that to the AI and guards and whatever. But... Desdemona is sort of a carnivore. She going to get as many treats as us?"

"Oh. Right." Ivy blinked, frowning as she tried to remember her lessons. Earth was a nowhere. It didn't take up a lot of her studies, and she'd mostly been in it for the chocolate. "Um... They've got a thing called... Jerky? Dried and salted meats."

"Whoa. Primitive!"

Ivy rolled her eyes, "Also, calling people primitive is pretty insulting. I wouldn't, when we're planetside."

Talia shrugged, and then went back to mopping the floor, "It's my first time on any other planet. It's just so crazy expensive to explore the 'verse, you know?"

"Same reason, here. I've never been anywhere." Ivy admitted.

Her friend hesitated, "I don't want to be rude... Or insensitive... But don't people like you have... Um... Memories? Of going other places. Your ancestors and stuff?"

"We do!" Ivy said and gave a small laugh, "Out of the last two hundred generations, want to guess how many of my ancestors cared about going to another world?"

"Two hundred generations? Um... Thirty or forty? I got no idea."

Ivy stuck her chin forward, deeply disappointed with her bloodline. "Three. Just three people ever wanted to leave the planet, before me."

"Whoa. Plants are kinda fixed, are they?" Talia stared.

She looked up at her friend in surprise, and then nodded slowly, "I suppose... We are. We're planted."

Both the women burst out laughing, and then went back to work. Sheets covered in a liquid that Ivy didn't want to identify went into the portable washer, as Talia climbed a ladder and mopped a similar something off the roof and lights.

They moved on to the next cabin, where they quietly left after discovering the guests too occupied to notice that they had been knocking. The cabin after that one was just about immaculate.

Ivy felt the need to double check that the room was in use, because the floor was still shining. Her boots felt like they were dirtying it. Talia quickly discovered why there was so little mess - it was all confined to the bathroom.

The walls were painted in mud, from a species that shook itself off to clean up.

It wasn't long before Talia started humming along to herself. Ivy was totally content with the silence between friends, but she got that her friend was someone who didn't do as well with the quiet.

Ivy didn't recognise the song at all. It was more complex than a childhood tune. Probably some sort of contemporary thing. The beat was fast, and twisted here and there. Not quite rock, but not all the way to metal. Something mainstream, all the same.

A few more cabins on, Talia asked casually, "You haven't met one of Desdemona's species before, have you?"

"Nope. Seen a couple around on deck, but they tend to keep to themselves." Ivy answered as she scrubbed the black gunk in the corners of the enormous window.

Talia was quiet for a few minutes, before saying, "So you've never met one, before?"

"Nope." Ivy said distractedly, glaring at the very stubborn stain that seemed to be ripping her cloth, rather than going away.

Talia took another long time to think, "What do you think of her?"

"She's fun?" Ivy glanced over, "What is this about, Talia?"

"You really can't take a hint." The bovine rolled her eyes, "Desdemona wants you to go with her, when we go to the planet this afternoon."

"I figured all three of us would. It'd be fun." Ivy shrugged.

Talia snorted and shook her head, "Seriously? How do I... You're a gendered species, aren't you?"

Ivy nodded slowly, "Yes? I'm a woman, if that's what you're asking."

"A woman, interested in men? Or a little bit more flexible?" Talia said pointedly.

Ivy scratched her head, and regretted it when she felt the mold sticking behind. She rubbed at the patch with her cloth, and got nowhere. "Ew. Um... I'm not sure what-"

"Pity the stars!" Talia exploded, "The moon would hit your face. Desdemona wants to ask you out on a date. She wants the two of you to take Earth as a romantic thing. I'd get in the way. She wants you to see her as a romance."

Ivy went very still, and felt herself drain into her roots. "Come again?"

"Desdemona likes you." Talia rolled her eyes.

The cloth was instantly scrubbing away very hard at the window, as Ivy's mind raced to try and figure out what to think about it all. She tried to ignore Talia staring at her, as every muscle and fibre in her arms rubbed back and forth at high speed.

Technically speaking, homosexuality wasn't a thing that happened much on Ivy's planet. Mostly because one or the other of the couple would end up going through an overnight sexchange. They were plants, they were flexible.

It did happen just sometimes, though. That tended to happen with the rare cross-species romances. That wasn't something that happened much. Hard to date someone with three hundred other lives of memories in their head - they always came off as seeming arrogant and all-knowing, in the end.

Not all species were sexually compatible, anyways. It was hard to have a romance which was relegated to only part of the instinctual things. Most cross-species things fell apart, and became a heavy regret.

One that was passed on to every following generation.

Ivy could remember just one, but it was a painful memory. The two had tried so very hard to make their relationship work, but it just couldn't. One burnt the skin of the other, and the temperature of their abode became fight after fight. It was a heavy regret.

Ivy was all about practicalities first, and it wasn't something that was.

If, though, she gave it just a little bit of thought... Desdemona was fun. She was loud and rumbling, but caring and like a giant hug. Everything she did was for the people around her, a volcano of caring thoughts.

Ivy could see Desdemona being way too self-conscious to propose a date, without first asking for Talia to suss things out. Though, if she was to be really honest with herself, Ivy would have expected Talia to be the one to ask her out.

The big friendly giant just seemed too much like a friend, to be looking for anything more intimate.

"You didn't see it coming, then?" Talia asked gently, as Ivy scrubbed away at the window.

"Nope."

"Is this... You're sending bad signals, here. I can let her down gently."

Ivy hesitated, and looked over at the other maid, "No... Maybe? No. I'm not against a thing like that. I'm just... Confused? Did not see it coming. Not even a little."

Talia nodded, "I can see that. Good thing you got the heads-up, then. Just give it a bit of thought... Also, I think that mould ain't coming off."

Unfortunately, having a deadline for that evening, on the planet, made any thinking through of this a bit more frantic. She didn't want to hurt her friend, but she'd simply never thought of them romantically.


Ivy had not managed to find an answer, by the time work ended. She and Talia had talked about other things, and had been grossed out more by their work, and were just about racing each other to the shower, by the end of day.

They had about ten minutes to slink off the gunk, before it would be time to head planetside.

The two of them came to a skidding stop, as they found an unreadable metallic helmet on leather shoulders, standing out the front of the room. The man turned to face Ivy, "You are joining the excursion this evening."

She struggled not to scratch at the ick in her hair, "Yes? If I get a shower. So, if you don't mind... Move it."

"We need to discuss, first." He said impassively, but stepped and waved at the door, "The other woman is not required."

Talia gave an apologetic smile, "Sorry, I get first shower."

Ivy rolled her eyes, and shrugged as her friend went ahead. "So, Mr. No, what is so important that you tracked down a maid?"

"It is a matter of little concern. The guest who alleggedly attacked you is still in restricted movement."

She stared at him, hands tingling as epinephrine flooded through her. "That... Was not reassuring! I hadn't thought about that. I don't want to think about that possibility. I just want to go and buy some chocolate."

"Chocolate is not advisable for a plant-based lifeform to consume. The dietary ramifications-"

"Shut. Up." Ivy glared at him.

The helmet nodded unemotionally, "I will cease advising on that matter. It is, however, a matter of some advice that brings me here. It would be preferable if you were to visit the planet in company."

"I am." Ivy stated angrily.

What was it about this particular guard that he was always turning up, in her way? She got assigned to all different decks, to the front and rear of the ship. There was no way that she accidentally ran into him all of the time.

"Whilst the company of other lower deck staff might perform some entertainment, it is not of the advice I speak." He said stiffly.

Ivy rolled her eyes, "You speak too much."

He jerked, and Ivy was sure she'd just seen him surprised for the very first time. Probably not something he'd heard often.

Mr. No recovered, "I am totally capable of remaining silent, if that would permit you to allow me to accompany you, below."

Ivy rubbed her face tiredly, "You really can't take a hint, can you? I don't want you to accompany me. After taking me into the bloody oxygen factory? You're lucky I talk to you, at all!"

"Oxygen... This is the grudge that you hold against me?"

She glared at him, "One of them. The other is that you cannot take a hint! I hate you. Go away."

"That is... Regrettable." He said very slowly, and then strode by her, but not with his usual fast pace.

Ivy focused her glare on his back, and then slowly felt her stomach flip. He had sounded professional, but he always did. If it had been professional, he might not have dismissed Talia, though.

It it were professional, he probably wouldn't have offered silence. He would have told her to suck it up, and take the bodyguard. Like he had when she'd crashed onto the planet.

Ivy swallowed in disbelief.

Had... Someone else just tried to ask her out on a date?