refactor(iroh-relay): less actors everywhere #11982

Job	Run time
Cross Build Only (x86_64-unknown-freebsd)	43s
Android Build Only (aarch64-linux-android)	1m 5s
Checking fmt	17s
check_semver	2m 47s
Android Build Only (armv7-linux-androideabi)	1m 19s
Cross Test (i686-unknown-linux-gnu)	2m 12s
Build wasm32	27s
cargo deny	29s
Checking docs	1m 18s
clippy_check	1m 50s
codespell	4s
Minimal Supported Rust Version	1m 1s
CI Test Suite / Tests (ubuntu-latest, stable, all)	3m 11s
CI Test Suite / Tests (ubuntu-latest, stable, none)	2m 48s
CI Test Suite / Tests (ubuntu-latest, stable, default)	2m 47s
CI Test Suite / Tests (macOS-arm-latest, stable, all)	3m 7s
CI Test Suite / Tests (macOS-arm-latest, stable, none)	2m 28s
CI Test Suite / Tests (windows-latest, stable, all, x86_64-pc-windows-msvc)	2m 43s
CI Test Suite / Tests (macOS-arm-latest, stable, default)	2m 50s
CI Test Suite / Tests (windows-latest, stable, none, x86_64-pc-windows-msvc)	2m 41s
CI Test Suite / Tests (windows-latest, stable, default, x86_64-pc-windows-msvc)	2m 10s
netsim-integration-tests / Netsim	5m 36s
	43m 53s

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